For my entire life, I have lived under performance and legalism. This was a surprising realization because I never considered myself a legalist – I’m not super-conservative and I didn’t think I was judgmental (more on that later). However, when the Lord started to change my heart and I began to believe His love and pleasure in me, I was astonished at the difference. My view of God and my enjoyment of Him is dramatically different from even two months ago, and I am forever changed.
When I was younger, I wrote poetry and sometimes songs. After a devastating event occurred in my teenage years, I stopped writing. Not only that, but reading what I’d previously written brought me intense shame and I never again shared it. For reasons only God knows, a couple of weeks ago I wrote a poem/song. Then I emailed it to a friend, without a second thought. I realize it sounds stupid, but for me it was miraculous and an act that only a free heart could perform.