After an avalanche of hate mail regarding my last post, I’ve opted to appease everyone with another post. (Nobody really emailed me.) I know my last post wasn’t my best. I’m man enough to admit it. I’ll even leave it up so everyone (no one) can remind me of its atrocity. So for starters, I will include this cute picture of an adorable girl. How can anyone remain upset at anybody with a little girl like that gracing your flickering monitor?
So there has been a recent trend that Texas produces incredibly insane running backs. Cedric Benson, formerly of the Chicago Bears, was cut earlier this week from the team for his second arrest during this off-season. In 3 season with the Bears he has amassed 420 carries for 1,593 yards and 10 touchdowns in 35 games. Not numbers to be proud about. But get this, when he signed his rookie contract, $17 million was guaranteed! When you break down his numbers, this is what you get:
His totals work out to $40,476 per carry, $10,672 per yard, and a comical $1.7 million per touchdown.
$40k per carry. Every time he touched the football he made nearly the annual salary of half of the working force in America. Not even Roger Clemens had something that ridiculous. (I believe for 2006, he ended up earning $30k per pitch). I am no athlete. If a linebacker even breathed on me I would fall to the ground. I’d even put some money that the cheerleaders could take me down easily. But for $40k per carry, I’d sell my manhood, dignity and risk bodily injury. I can carry the ball 3 times, amass a total of negative 27 yards, and call an immediate press conference on the field to announce my retirement.