A little over four years ago, I was sitting in my friend’s apartment in East Asia and I asked her to tell me one thing she didn’t expect about marriage.  She and my team leader had been married long enough to have three children, and I was eager to learn from her.  Her answer surprised me, though.  She responded that she didn’t anticipate how distracted she would be as a married woman.

After leaving campus a couple of weeks ago, I suddenly said to Jason, “I think I thought about the Lord a lot more when I was single.”  Even before I fully unpacked that statement, he agreed with me.  I guess this should not be surprising, as God was on to this phenomenon before I was:

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.”  — 1 Corinthians 7:32-34

Paul says this not to restrict people from marrying, but to encourage them to live in undivided devotion to the Lord.  I can say with certainty that these verses have proved true in my own life.  Even after my friend was insightful enough to share that with me, I didn’t really expect to see it play out the way it has.

Let me just share with you.  I have to wake up before Jason.  I have to, if I want to see Jesus at all.  (“Seeing Jesus” is often what I use to refer to my personal devotion time.  I think it’s kinda fun/quirky and “quiet time” just sounds so lame to me.  I can’t help it.)  If Jason wakes up and comes downstairs, it is almost impossible for me to concentrate on the Word.  Even if I hear him moving around upstairs, it is hard not to think about him, his needs, our home… any manner of things.  I think about what he would like for breakfast, about what he has planned for the day, and if there’s anything we need to talk about.  I think about how cute he is.  You know, the usual stuff…

Throughout the day, I think about grocery shopping.  What rooms need to be cleaned.  What our schedules are and what needs to be done for the day.  If we both have clean underwear.  (Just kidding… I usually wait until the pile is out of control or Jason says, “TJ, I’m down to 2 pairs of boxers.”  Haha…  And, in Jason’s defense, he would wash his own stuff.  I don’t let him because he throws everything in and washes it on cold – such a guy thing!)  Yay for the longest parenthetical statement ever – see, I’m already distracted!

Anyway, there are many ways that being married has led me closer to the Lord, and I am profoundly grateful for Jason and our relationship.  Anyone who knows me knows that I love being married to Mr. Poon!  He is truly my favorite person on Earth 🙂

But being married, having a house, being a wife… it brings a lot of thoughts with it.  Thoughts about all the stuff I mentioned above, plus how to steward well what I’ve been given… how to manage our household better/cheaper/more efficiently… how to please my husband.

None of these things are bad.  I fully believe God intends and desires that I think about such things.  They have great value in the sight of the Lord.  But He also desires that my heart be completely His, and that I be abiding in Him moment-by-moment.  I am still trying to figure out how to do these things well, and I suspect it will be a lifetime journey.


6 responses to “Distracted

  • Jenny

    well written my friend!

  • Mike Smiley

    I’m quickly becoming a fan of Mr. Poon as well 🙂

  • Laura

    Well written… and completely agreed upon on this end! ARGH. It’s a bit of toil to figure this all out, but in so many ways- I have found my marriage shaping me even more like Jesus. I read a GREAT book recently… Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. It was challenging, and yet encouraging. Check it out if you get a chance.

    I love you, Teej!


  • Courtney

    Thanks for posting this TJ! I’m glad other people get distracted too. I get so frustrated sometimes with people who say you have to be married (and producing kids) to really experience God’s fundamental plan for humanity. Undistracted devotion to the Lord is what he desires … married or single!

  • stef

    that sounds like something insightful that Tammy would say. I miss our little community. Thanks for sharing, and reminding me to be grateful in this part of life.

  • Lydia

    Thanks for sharing Teej 🙂 Being a girl that longs to be married and to be helpmate, this post was such a gentle rebuke to my heart. Thanks for sharing your thoughts so openly and candidly 🙂

    I think of you two often, Mr. and Mrs. Poon!

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