Undiscovered Longings

“I hope that Heaven is the culmination of longings I never knew I had.”

I recently said this to a friend as we were hanging out in her living room, lying on couches and talking about life.  She had asked me a specific question about my mother and what I thought her experience of Heaven was like.  When she asked me that, I realized I think way too little about eternity.  My mind is filled with an inordinate amount of thoughts that are at best trivial and, at worst, evil and self-centered.

I was recently moved by a friend’s vision of God’s glory, which you can read about here.  Sadly, I long for God and His glory with an amount that I imagine to be equivalent to my pinky fingernail.  The rest of me is a (redeemed) jacked-up mess.  I greatly desire to long for His presence with my whole being, but instead I often long for my own glory and comfort.

Precisely because I am redeemed, I know that all the longings and desires I have for God, His glory and His presence are there.  They do exist, in my new heart that God has given me, and in His spirit which lives inside of me.  My spiritual self yearns for these things, while my flesh clamors for its own attention.

When I thought of that… thought of how little I fan these holy thirsts… I imagined that I might get to Heaven and have my soul breathe an eternal sigh of relief and contentment, when I may have never known I felt anxious or in need.  All the longings that my spirit had, even those of which I was unaware, will be met as I come into the presence of God and find my place as one of His countless worshipers.

I hope to spend more of my life stirring up and encouraging these desires of my true heart, and asking God to help me long for that day more and more.


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