It feels very inappropriate insensitive strange to follow up my wife’s posts on what has happened in our family over the past month. People have been extraordinarily generous with their time and have expressed their care and concern to not only TJ but to me as well which has been surprising… in a good way. In one sense, I feel like this is almost like our wedding day; everyone’s focus is on the bride and I have felt that to be the appropriate way to handle this kind of situation. In many ways, I feel that it is unacceptable for me to be needy, tired or for anyone to expound any compassion towards me when I sense that my responsibility is to basically “hold it together” for the family.
Campus Crusade has given us two weeks off from our campus assignment for bereavement. When we decided that these two weeks would be the best time for us to take it, TJ had continually expressed how much she is looking forward to that time for me personally, which at the time I thought was rather unusual. Little did I know that she was right (as if I needed yet another reminder that my wife is seldom wrong) and that in the last six weeks I had worn myself pretty thin physically, emotionally and spiritually.
What has been nice about this time of bereavement has been the quality time I’ve been able to have with Jesus and my wife. I can’t say for certain that anything in particular has happened or that anything has been really special, but somehow the times together with both these people in my life has been very sweet and refreshing. Even the odd things seem to hold a different sense of significance to them. Today for instance, TJ and I were working together to get the hot water heater pilot to come back on. It wasn’t very difficult or special but for some reason I found myself really enjoying the time together. To take a line from “Up’s” Russell, “Sometimes it’s the boring stuff that I [will] remember most.”