Today (2/25) I finished making the phone calls that every parent-to-be looks forward to. “Mom, Dad… are you ready to be grandparents?” A part of me was excited to be able to deliver the news to them as they had been looking forward to it since the day TJ and I were married, but the other part of me wanted to die.
I wasn’t supposed to be making that call.
I could only imagine what it was like for my wife, on the other line, to hear what she would never be able to do. I feel that TJ has been robbed of a wonderful experience that so many people look forward to and at the same time, I have been robbed too for I could not do it without feeling like a cold-hearted bastard.
Why do I get to tell my parents that TJ’s pregnant? Why doesn’t TJ get the same privilege?
It seems that everyone wants to be the one who delivers the good news; an engagement, a pregnancy, a college acceptance… but not me. I don’t want to tell anyone anything that makes me feel like death again.
I don’t want my phone call.