Four Years

Today Mr. P and I celebrate four years of marriage! Hurray!

Last year on this day, we each wrote about our three favorite aspects of marriage. That was such great fun that we decided to do another anniversary-themed post.

(We all know this blog needs all the love it can get…)

So in honor of year four, here are four ways that being married to Mr. P has changed me:

1. I apologize much, much more quickly.

Before dating and marrying Jason, I was a bit of a stubborn b. *Gasps of feigned shock from everyone who knew me beforehand.*

No, really. I kinda was.

The Lord has used the last few years of my life, since STINT, to really change and grow me in this area. When Jason and I started dating, I really only cared about being right and “winning.”

Lovely, right?

Even at the beginning of our marriage, our fights were much dirtier than they are now. A few months ago I was pondering how, even when we are fighting and I’m extremely angry, I no longer desire to hurt Jason with my words.

I feel like that should go without saying in marriage, but it really doesn’t. Early on, I remember seeking to wound with whatever verbal venom I could spit at him. Now, because of the Lord’s grace, hurting Jason is never the goal of a fight.

2. I can laugh at myself and life more easily.

Marriage has a way of lightening people up, particularly women.

(If you want to hear the “real” way I usually express that sentiment, ask me in person.)

Living everyday life with another person is gross and funny. I realized I could either be easily offended, easily embarrassed and uptight, or I could roll with it and learn to laugh. Plus, I do ridiculous and stupid things about 100 times a day.

Like bust my lip with my own toothbrush… or cut my tongue licking the top of a sweetened condensed milk can… or cut up jalapenos and rub my eyes. Sadly, all real life examples.

With a track record like that, if I couldn’t laugh at myself or let others laugh with/at me, I’d be in serious trouble.

3. I’m more considerate.

Jason gave me this one, although I’m sure it’s true. Mostly because it couldn’t not be true. (I wasn’t all that considerate before… see above.)

A working marriage is a constant exercise in servanthood. It simply won’t work well if each party is only concerned with himself or herself. Unfortunately, as long as I’m alive, this will be a work-in-progress. There isn’t a time when I will ever be perfectly considerate, nor will Jason.

The Lord has brought circumstances into our lives that have made it crucial for us to support and care for one another, even if it has been difficult and something we had to work for.  But I can tell that we are growing in this area, and that’s encouraging.

4. I appreciate different things.

Growing up, I didn’t listen to classical music.

Sidenote: I really don’t understand how Jason and I are so similar, because our upbringings could NOT be more different.

Anyway, being married to Jason has given me the chance to develop a genuine interest in many things I probably wouldn’t have pursued otherwise. (Like classical music.) I know that I’ve also exposed him to new things, as well, and some of these things we’ve shared with each other have become our own family traditions.

One of these is our love for soccer. Though neither of us introduced the sport to the other – we both played before we ever met – it is not something we probably would’ve picked back up if we weren’t doing it together. Except for a few month break when I was gestating and birthing our daughter, we have played soccer together on a co-ed team ever since we got married.

It’s been something that we have enjoyed doing together and hope to continue for at least several more years.

I guess until Eden starts playing and Jason transitions to coaching her team 🙂

It is a wonderful feeling to be celebrating year number four with my best friend. I am thankful for the ways that we have grown and changed, and for the ways the Lord is going to continue to stretch us for however many years we have together.

Mr. Poon, you are truly the greatest!

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